Thank-You Note

I wanted small pierced earrings (gold).

You gave me slippers (gray).

My mother said she would scold

Unless I wrote to say

How much I liked them.

Not much.

JUDITH VIORST

Judith Viorst is the author of several works of fiction and non-fiction for children as well as adults. Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, her most famous children's book, was first published in 1972 and has since sold over two million copies. She resides in Washington, DC with her husband Milton, a political writer.

Poetry Idea

Alas, January is thank-you-note-writing month. Here’s an idea for a thank-you note that will be fun to write, but NOT to send!

Among the gifts you received this past holiday, choose your least favorite. Perhaps it came from a relative who doesn’t know you well. Perhaps it is one of those boringly “practical” gifts. Perhaps it is just so Not-you that you can’t believe anyone gave it to you. Write a tongue-in-cheek (i.e. sarcastic) thank-you poem.

1. Pretend you are speaking to the person who gave you the gift. First, vividly describe what you really wanted—and don’t be afraid to stray into the realm of fantasy! (“I wanted a unicorn with a horn of gold, and hooves that sparked like spun glass.”)

2. Then, describe in plain terms what you got. (“You gave me a packet of socks.”)

3. Describe what you would have done with your desired gift. (“On my unicorn, I would have flown into the dark reaches of the night sky, danced on the moon . . . ”), then what you will do with what you’ve received (“The socks I will pull on, limp and chill, in the dark, cheerless mornings before school.”).

4. The ending is up to you. Maybe you can find some common theme between the two gifts (“Well, at least they are both white”) or maybe find a sarcastic way of speaking your thanks (“Thanks for trampling on my dreams”), or maybe even make fun of yourself for your own wishes (“I’ll save those socks to shine the horn of the unicorn I’m sure to get next year”).

Poetry Now!

Every once in a while, I come across a poem that I want to share. Read this one and see if you like it, too. Then, for a writing challenge, look at the "Poetry Idea." I'll change this poem on the first of every month (at least, I'll try to!). If you want more writing challenges, go to the Poem Starters page.

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Joyce Sidman

from The World According to Dog, c. 2003 Doug Mindell